I do not understand the balance of loving life and embracing death. I don't understand why it is natural to love life, and long to preserve it, and be expected to walk through death. I don't know why we can still rejoice in suffering, or how we can find joy in loosing. I don't know many things, but do know two: first, that if we look we will find God, the real God. Not a rule maker or a punishing figure. The God that understands the depth of our emotion and heartache, and the weight of choice. The Friend that carries the depths with us. Second, I know that I had a good time getting to know a very special man. A man who didn't have all the answers, who got angry sometimes and irritated. A man who had a specific type of humor that made me laugh deep until I was left gasping for air. A man who taught me to sing and play music. A man who looked out for me like a brother, but never asked too much of me. The little bit of time is worth the heart ache.
The Jesus in Jonathan taught me to love life and fearlessly share my sound. The Jesus in Jonathan, because he still loved Jesus until he left us.
The Gospel stands. The real one.
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